In my experience, one of the biggest misconceptions in leadership is believing that people owe us their commitment. They don't.

While people do owe us compliance because we pay them, commitment, trust, and discretionary effort must be earned. When people don't trust their leader, they may do what they're required to do, but they are unlikely to consistently bring their very best to work. That's why I believe trust is the foundation of extraordinary leadership.

Over the years, I've identified 10 simple habits that help leaders earn trust rather than demand compliance. These include genuinely listening to people, generously sharing information, communicating with clarity, keeping promises, giving meaningful positive feedback, admitting mistakes, speaking well of people when they're not present, empowering others with real authority, showing authentic interest in people as whole human beings, and learning what uniquely motivates each individual. None of these habits is complicated, but together they create an environment where people willingly choose to give their best.

I've also learned that trust grows when leaders consistently demonstrate that they have people's best interests at heart. Whether it's investing in employees' personal development, acknowledging their contributions, or trusting them with meaningful responsibility, people pay close attention to our actions. They don't just listen to what we say. They watch what we do, and that's what ultimately determines whether they trust us.

So the next time you're tempted to complain that your people have an entitlement mentality, I encourage you to first look in the mirror. Ask yourself: Have you unintentionally developed an entitlement mentality of your own by expecting commitment instead of earning it? Pick one or two trust-building habits, practice them consistently, and you'll be amazed at the difference they make in building commitment, trust, and having people go above and beyond without even needing to ask.

Key Points

People owe leaders compliance, not commitment. Commitment must be earned through trust.
Trust is the foundation of discretionary effort and long-term engagement.
Leaders must actively seek out and listen to a wide variety of perspectives.
Sharing information generously helps people understand the bigger picture. Clear communication eliminates confusion about expectations and direction.
Keeping promises builds credibility and demonstrates respect.
Genuine, specific positive feedback strengthens relationships and makes constructive feedback easier to receive.
Admitting mistakes creates opportunities to build trust rather than damaging it.
Empowering people with real decision-making authority demonstrates confidence in them.
Showing authentic concern for employees as whole people builds deep loyalty.
Leadership is not one-size-fits-all. Different people are empowered by different things, and leaders must adapt accordingly.

Quotes

"People don't owe you commitment. They owe you compliance. Commitment is something you have to earn."
"Don't just share information on a need-to-know basis. Give people perspective on the bigger picture."
"When things go wrong, you have a perfect opportunity to build trust."
"People don't care what you know until they know that you have their best interest at heart."
"The next time you find yourself complaining about entitlement, look in the mirror and ask whether you have an entitlement mentality yourself."

In this video, I'm going to share with you 10 simple habits that will make you so much more effective as a leader because they will help you genuinely earn people's trust and their commitment. Do the people on your team have an entitlement mentality? You know what I'm talking about. You share information, you get them involved in decisions, you do all kinds of things to get them involved, but you can just never do enough. I want to share with you that their entitlement mentality is not the problem. Yours is. You may think that you're entitled to their commitment, to their discretionary effort, but you're actually not. You're entitled to compliance. You give them a paycheck, you give them benefits, and they owe you compliance. But that only gets them to the point where they give you what they owe you.
It doesn't earn you their commitment. What earns commitment is something entirely different. One thing I can tell you is trust is at the foundation of earning commitment. I mean, if you think about your own experiences, have you ever been truly motivated and committed to support a boss who you didn't trust? If you didn't think they had your best interest at heart, Did you really go out of your way to support them and to give them your best? Well, the same is true for everyone. You know, some people have a tendency to be more generous with their discretionary effort. But at the end of the day, if people don't trust their leader, then they're not going to sustainably bring their best to work. In this video, I'm going to share with you 10 simple habits that will make you so much more effective as a leader because they will help you genuinely earn people's trust and their commitment. These actions and behaviors are not a one size fits all formula. They are merely suggestions for you to consider. Out of this list of 10, you may be doing very well at one or two of them.
or not doing so great at some of the other ones. So you get to choose which ones you want to focus on and really take to the next level. So let's get into these 10 trust-building habits. Number one, take time to listen. And I'm not just talking about being a good listener when you are in a conversation. You may be an active listener. You may even be better than that. You may be what Stephen Covey calls an empathic listener, where you listen with not just your ears, but with your eyes and with your heart, where you really put yourself in the other person's world. And that is amazing. But you need to go beyond that. You need to make sure that you're not just exposing yourself to the few people that you need to talk to every day, that you actually take the time to
hear everybody else's perspective. Give yourself exposure to as many people as you possibly can. Now, sometimes that's possible if you have a smaller team to do it in person. Sometimes you have to put mechanisms in place to do it virtually. But at the end of the day, what people want to know is, are you interested in my perspective? And if you don't genuinely listen, you don't take the time to listen, or you don't really do a good job of listening while you're in the conversation, that's not going to work out well. Number two, generously share information. Don't just share information on a need-to-know basis. Actively demonstrate to people that you're willing to take some chances by sharing some sensitive information with them. Don't just give them information about
the little piece of the work that they are handling, but give them perspective on the bigger picture. Number three, deliver a clear message every time you communicate. Speak their language. Don't water down bad news. Make clear requests. Be clear about your expectations. Share your commitments and ask for theirs. Don't leave people wondering what you were trying to say. You know, my favorite is when you share some ideas, be clear as to whether that's input, recommendation, or direction. The difference is input is something for the person to decide whether they're going to use or not. Recommendation is a little stronger than that. that says you still get to decide whether you're going to use it or not, but if you decide not to use it, I'd like to know why. But direction is something that is much stronger than that. Now, the person may still decide that they want to push back on it, but they don't get to make that choice on their own, you see. So what often happens when communication is not clear is that you walk out of your boss's office
or you come out of a conversation and you're wondering, did they just tell me to go do that or were they just making a suggestion? So be clear about your suggestions and your direction. Number four, keep your promises. If you make a commitment and you're not able to meet that commitment, get back to them and communicate with them as if they are your boss. Make sure that people understand that they are as important to you as your boss or someone else in the organization that has more authority than you. Condition them to know that when you give them your word, that they can take it to the bank, that you will keep your commitment, and if you're not able to, that you will at least communicate with them. This will also help you set
an example and be a role model for them to do the same thing. Number five, regularly share genuine positive feedback. Make sure that you do it in a way that causes the person to truly feel acknowledged. Don't be distracted, don't be general. Look the person in the eye, make sure that you are very, very clear about what you're acknowledging them for. If you're writing a message on email, make sure that you bring up some specifics and do this regularly and do it abundantly. Because what you wanna do is you wanna put chips in the bank. You wanna constantly make deposits into that emotional bank account so that you don't hesitate when the time comes for you to give them some constructive feedback, something that they need to do differently. You see, so the value of positive feedback
goes a long, long way in that it builds people up and it also makes it a whole lot easier for you to share constructive feedback with them. Number six, admit your mistakes and take responsibility for your shortcomings. When you make a mistake or when you miss a commitment or when you do something that falls short of who you want to be, admit it. You don't have to be a victim and feel bad about it and all of that. You just need to be honest about it, admit what happened, take responsibility for it, and let them know what they can expect from you in the future. In fact, when things go wrong, you have a perfect opportunity to build trust because that is when people are looking to see if you are a person who just deflects that responsibility and blame somebody else,
or you're willing to stand up and say, that was me, I messed up, and here's what you can expect in the future. Number seven, speak up for those who are not present. When you engage in gossip and talking negatively about others who are not present, the people in that conversation will eventually recognize that you're also going to talk about them when they're not present. So this is a very important habit to develop is to not engage in gossip. It's perfectly fine to talk about facts and do it in the spirit of action planning. If someone is not doing well, okay, what do we need to do to have that conversation? But if you engage in gossip and talking negatively about somebody, then trust is eroded in that relationship, even if the other person is engaged in the same negative conversation with you. Number eight, give others the authority to make decisions, the results of which you are accountable for. In other words, I'm giving you the accountability, I'm giving you the authority to make decisions in this area
knowing that if you don't do the right things, I would have to answer for that. In another video, I shared how I gave someone the authority to sign for $5,000 worth of parts when in fact on the books, they were only allowed to sign for 250. Well, I was still accountable, but I trusted them to go ahead and make those decisions knowing full well that if they made bad decisions, I could not blame them, I would actually have to answer to my boss. That kind of thing has massive trust-building power. Number nine, demonstrate your authentic interest in people as whole persons, not just someone who is a piece of machine that you're using to get the results that you want to get, but show interest in them.
Now, everybody may not be interested in talking about all the private details of their lives, and that's totally fine, but show interest in making sure that they know that you are interested in them as a whole person. You may have heard me tell stories about a plant that I was leading at one point, and we essentially went to work. I say we, it was because it was me and my wife. She was the only consultant I could afford. because I had no budget and she was free. But she and I set out to help people improve their lives relative to their health, their relationships, their personal finances, and all of those kinds of things. And years later, as we had lots of success in helping people transform their lives,
somebody told me, they said, you know, Amir, all those times when you were coming in at 7.30 in the morning to hold those classes about personal finance and all of that, we were thinking, what does this guy have up his sleeve? Why is he doing all of this? And at some point somebody said, well, maybe the guy just wants to help us out, right? Maybe he has our best interest at heart. And that had a lot to do with people trusting me and making up for my shortcomings so that as a team, we became very, very successful. And number 10, learn what empowers people professionally and deliver it to them. Don't use a one size fits all approach with everybody. Learn what makes people tick. If they have a desire to have more information, give it to them.
If they have a need to get better at something, get into their world and figure out what that is and make the resources available. Let them know with your actions, not just your words, that you are willing to invest in them to make sure that their needs are met. If you take these 10 trust building actions and habits into account, evaluate them and pick one or two that you want to get better at and go to work at it, I assure you that it will make a huge difference in you earning people's trust and their commitment and the discretionary effort that you would like to have. So next time you find yourself complaining about people having an entitlement mentality, Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you have an entitlement mentality and if you feel that people owe it to you to bring their best to work. Then go to work on some of these habits and earn their commitment.